Of Sparrow and Falcon

I want life to tear me apart -

To break me all the way open where I am cracked

To peel and pull where my edges are lifting.

I want to be rendered a raw thing

Honest, gasping and real.

I want to be poured into then

With the singular love I swim in

Though I lose my eyes for the brightness of it all.

I want to feel everything -

The pointed puncture of talons as sparrow is plucked from flight by falcon

The pulling and tearing from bone that nourishes falcon in life

The easy breath of earth that floats torn feather to pavement

The delight of a small girl child who finds feather there.

I want to know what it is to reflect daylight on my surface -

A sparkling lake lit and unapologetic

Holding deeply rooted water weeds who look to tree branches that hang over water

Moving eerily out of time with the current.

I want to know what it is to be a sapling reaching

In wonder at the wood around it

Knowing only it's own twig self.

I want to know what it is to fall as the giant ancient who crashes to the floor of the forest

A slow, slow offering to life yet to come.

I want to burn with aliveness -

Not the leaping out of planes kind though this is grand for some.

I want to sit too near flames under stars

Casting sparks high into the night

Making shadows to dance and to crawl.

I want to know it's warmth and heat on my body

I want to burn from within like the glow of her logs

Howl with hiss and steam.

I want to exhale with the force of roar through dripping maw

To send chills through the spines of men

As I honor blood drawn with my tears and screams

And fingers that claw at my face.

I want to mew softly and arch at the touch of my lover

To cry out and see Goddess flush rose with pleasure.

I want to tear at life with my teeth

Even as I sit with my tenderness

And let it all be true

While I sip tea from a mug warm in my hands

To the rhythms of thundering rain

Running down window glass.

• Sheila